In the light of a charity event I am planning, I have been reviewing a long sequence of previous stupid acts I’ve completed despite having minimal ability and being unencumbered with the common sense to realise it.
I’ll just mention a few for context. May have mentioned some of this in previous posts a long time ago, but go straight to the bottom if you don’t want to read all that.

It’s no better than normal really

  1. I raced motorcycles for a number of years, during which I never won anything, or even came close. In fact were it not for my bike being the fastest one in most races, I would have been getting the last place sympathy claps normally reserved for England cricketers.
    My finest hour was inexplicably becoming separated from my motorcycle 10 seconds into a race and before even reaching the first bend. A disappointing event as I’d already become pretty fond of staying on the bike and a painful one as that bike could reach a remarkable speed in 10 seconds .

No other riders were involved in the incident- other than politely swerving to avoid me, so I didn’t even have my normal opportunity to blame someone else

2. I also spent some time learning to fly Microlights, despite – even before more recent decay of brain function – having minimal sense of direction.

On one occasion, flying solo a few thousand feet up near a flying school in Portugal I realised I had lost focus a little and had no idea where I was. I was unfamiliar with the area and it had a rocky terrain unsuitable for a flying cretin to land.

I did find the landing site before I ran out of fuel, but only just. I would otherwise now just be yet another monument to British stupidity – a mangled metal monument in this case –  inserted without asking into the ground of someone else’s country.

Now, this brings me to my latest plan. As a charity event, I will be walking across 20 feet of hot coals in return for generous sponsorship from everyone I know. This is effectively a way of part exchanging the skin on the soles of my feet for other people’s money in the account of the MS Society.

The organisers tell me the coal is at 1200 degrees Fahrenheit which I make 650 degrees temperature. It is surprisingly relatively cool on the surface. You do have to walk in a brisk, but calm way which may not be easy though. If you try to run, you tend to sink down into the coals where the Summery warm glow moves on to being actively Toasty.

In the event of my survival, I may post photos on this Blog but, in the meantime, sponsor me via this link.

If I do this and don’t even raise much money, I will just look a cock

Or send text message   DAWS66 £xx to number 70070

And put figures  in the xx bit, obviously, halfwit.