I’m not the first person to write down their tedious New Year’s Resolutions on a Blog, but I’ve used this to write a lot of tedious shite for the last year so might as well continue

Resolution 1 – to learn more languages.
My two new languages from 2012 were German and Hindi, with first phrases being:

German: ‘Quick, quick Potato Head’.

Hindi: ‘Not in front of the Chickens’.   The only Hindi speakers I know are at work and it’s a hard one to use seamlessly in a business context.

It would really only be useful for people planning a depraved act and with access to easily embarrassed Hens – which is an unusual condition in the Avian world.

 

Resolution  2 – limit length of Posts

These tend to be around 1,000 words each and I’ve conducted a straw poll on ideal length for them. Quite a few people read these and consensus was that less would be more here.

Votes tended to be either that they should be reduced by around 500 words or by around 1000, although the number of people in those two opinion groups was not even

 

Resolution 3 – Blatantly Capitalise on Famous Friends

I mentioned on a previous Post that my wife’s best friend from school, Lizzie Price had morphed into Elisabeth Price the artist

She has now actually won the Turner Prize for Art, a prize won by Tracey Emin, Damien Hirst for pickling sharks and so on.  

When Elisabeth was nominated for the Prize, I left Emma up in the loft searching for some of Lizzie’s school artwork that she thought was still up there. Could have been worth money in future, in the same way that uncovering an early Hirst pickled flipper might be.

The deal I reached was that she could not come down until she either found the art, or agreed to the depraved act of my choice.   Not much of a choice for her but an unlosable deal for me.

Having said that, the amount of time she was prepared to spend up there in the circumstances was kind of disappointing.

I have however, remembered that Elisabeth came to our wedding and we still have her Wedding present of a box of plates (still unopened as we got a lot of plates) in a small cupboard under the stairs.

Could be that she signed them and, hence they could also be valuable in future.   Even if not directly valuable, a small financial contribution for dinner served on plates from a Turner prize winning artist wouldn’t be an unreasonable thing to ask from friends.

 

Sadly, the apparently no-lose agreement I reached on the loft search means I hurt my back and can no longer get in the cupboard.

Not a problem I’d foreseen, but I am at least suffering for my art

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