There has been something of hiatus in Posts on this blog following the death of my mother and resulting writer’s block – at least writer’s block for the sort of drivel I write here.

Like several people I know that have lost a parent, I think of many things I should have said to her. In my case though, she never saw this Blog so I at least have the comfort that she was never persecuted with it in the way you are.

After a writing gap, TV sitcoms tend to launch with an update/resume of previous episodes. Admittedly, that approach relies on the previous content having been good in the first place, at which point the similarity disappears

Nevertheless, I thought the time was right for a progress updates on previous campaigns:

  • CAMPAIGN 1   Revitalising the name Dave    STATUS:GREEN

As I mentioned, the name seems to have fallen into disrepute at some point in the last 30 years. As such I have been lobbying people to get on with impregnating/being impregnated so they can buck the trend and name their child Dave.

Positive news on this is that my first success is now around a month old and doing well.

His father, I believe follows this Blog, although his mother does not. As such it may come as a surprise in future for her to learn that her new son was named Dave Masid and not Amaan Shah Masid as she had instructed.

  • CAMPAIGN 2 Increasing my popularity above my wife’s ex boyfriend, Richard Wiseman    STATUS:RED

This one has been an active disappointment. I have seen no evidence at all of greater popularity.

My family are doing little more than tolerating me.

The Joker I was playing was my local Greek Doner Kebab shop liking me on the basis that I was the main force subsidising their living.      That has fallen flat.

I tried to order one last night, and they have stopped serving meat products. Seems impossible to believe they could make that mistake, given that their cuisine is based entirely on a giant elephant’s foot affair on a spindle, with just a few bits of grass to go with it.

That kind of business acumen seems alone to illustrate the problems of the Greek economy.

Admittedly, as a child there was a fish and chip shop in a village near me that used to shut for lunch. Not the whole of lunch admittedly just 12:30-1:30 or something, but an act of similar stupididity, and that shop still survives to this day apparently

Richard, conversely is doing even better. I was watching TV the other day and a question started on University Challenge:

‘Who is the British Psychologist….’

(starting to get anxious here)

‘ that wrote the books the Luck Factor…’

( getting one of those horror movie feelings now, along the ‘for God’s sake don’t go into the room’ lines)

‘and 59 seconds.’

(It’s him.  Not only is he on TV all the time but he’s actually the answer to a TV quiz question)

CAMPAIGN 3   Uncovering Psychopaths    STATUS:AMBER

1 in 100 people are clinically Psychopathic – at least in a Nursery Slopes kind of way

I have spotted several of these in the last month.

Some actually follow this Blog though so I can’t really get them independently verified – hence just an Amber status

And now, my new campaign:

I understand the name Susan is also now extremely rare in the under 30s. I know several Susans/Sues of around my age but nothing younger

Although an invitation to be there seems unlikely, I’ve discovered that I quite like the idea of people engaging in sexual congress at my command.

As such, you must all do your duty and start to breed a new generation of Susans now.