I discover that in France, cats say Wrillow and not Meow.

That is clearly just wrong.

Demonstrate by simply making the noise yourself now and at the same time, visualise the way cats move their mouths. You never see a cat making the face shape needed to make an ‘R’ sound.

Conversely an ‘M’ face movement is naturally associated with saying Meow, drinking milk, and licking your own bottom.

Hopefully you’re not reading this in an office and I didn’t inadvertently trick you into making a Meow noise at your desk. If so, it’s best just to turn around now and explain. As per my last post that is plausible evidence of psychosis and worth setting the record straight before rumours start.

If you had replicated the other cat behaviour points I mention, best just to say nothing

All this is just a minor quirk of national differences. A more major point surrounds names and specifically the fact that in the UK, the name Dave appears to have fallen into a state of disrepute. It’s common in Australia and a few other countries but at some point in the last 30 years it quietly fell out of fashion in the UK. You now never come across a child with a first name of Dave.

I have attempted to use this blog to launch campaigns previously with limited success. In particular, the one to join my wife’s ex boyfriend in the Independent’s list of ‘100 people that make Britain a better place to live’ had disappointing results.

However, my next campaign could be the big one – it is to re-establish Dave as a fashionable name across the nurseries and pre-schools of the UK.

What I need from any of you planning or expecting a child is to think of me, and consider this noble moniker as the perfect name. It just takes a few dozen people to kick this off and it could go viral as on-line marketing folk say.

I’ve already started by lobbying for a colleague at work to name his child (due in a few weeks) as Dave.

He’s from India where the name is not so much in decline as never really having got underway in the first place.

Dave Masid though has a noble sound to it, plus the cachet of being even more rare than here.

Just to be clear, I’m not asking you actually to impregnate/be impregnated by your partners in support of this campaign. If you are prepared to take that step though, be sure not to mention during the act that you’re thinking of me.

That could really be misunderstood.  There is some evidence to suggest that even my wife isn’t thinking of me all that much during these events, so for you to start doing it seems wrong.

While you start doing your duty in aid of the campaign, I’ll think of other marketing ideas.

Maternity clothes with ‘Dave Inside’ labels, along similar lines to Intel could be a good start.

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