I  am from time to time subjected to a fascinating range of medical diagnostic tools and am treated using drugs prescribed by learned medical people following a huge amount of research. This seems a good thing and, in general gives me a warm contented feeling.

However, I might also be prepared to consider alternative medicine on the basis that it could be worth trying some unconventional things occasionally, as long as they’re not actively harmful .  Even though often developed by a pointless hippy in a Kaftan with no medical training, I wouldn’t automatically rule them out

I have just read yet another explanation of Homeopathy though and that’s a very different thing.  I could write a long and reasoned explanation of the many obvious flaws in the whole thing.

Instead though, just  refer to my simple mantra

Homeopathy : Bollocks

OK – maybe a bit of  reasoned explanation. The whole idea revolves around the thought that by taking infinitesimal amounts of chemicals, some poisonous,  it will cause any general peakiness to disappear.
I have just returned from the garden, having spread around a small amount of weedkiller. Water companies advise that we have a drought at the minute, partly as heavy rain, like that which has just started tends just to end up in rivers. From the South of England it flows out to the channel and onwards to France.  Against all my better instincts, I may therefore have contributed to the well being of the French.

I like France – lovely country, fantastic food and natives with a level of grumpiness matched only by the British. Nevertheless, I’m not about to give away a few femto grams (look it up homeopaths) of my weedkiller to perk them up.

That may seem an exaggeration, but it’s not. The dilution of ‘health giving agents’ in some homeopathic remedies is literally at that level. In this example, there will be a point somewhere around the South coast beaches at which point my John Innes Death Treatment morphs into John Innes Miracle Cure.

I was once given a homeopathic hangover cure by the bride-to-be after a stag night. I was made carefully to tip a tablet directly from the bottle into my mouth, to avoid corrupting it with bacteria from my hands. Now, mouths contain vastly more bacteria than hands at the best of times, and mine was far from its best that morning.  She seemed very nice though and hopefully they are still living a happy life together, albeit presumably with an infinitesimal amount of corrupting going on.

The one thing I will accept though is the powerful force generated by mixing a small measure of placebo with a larger volume of half wit.

It may well be that any of those halfwits reading this are consumed with rage right now and there will be comments to this Post  from people that had untreatable diseases cured, had amputated limbs grow back and so on.

At least I’m not the one selling made up stuff to innocent passers by.
That does give me an idea though – if this has made any of you feel even a bit better, add a comment to say that.

I may set up an on line payment arrangement